Depression and Emotion
- Megan Haldane
- Jun 27, 2017
- 7 min read
My book about depression is becoming more detailed as I write and is taking longer than I ever imagined. One good thing about it is that just recently I have noticed a significant change happening around the world regarding depression. I think this is due to the worldwide pandemic of people who are suffering with unstable minds and depression.
Many mental health practitioners are realising that the mind, and not just the brain, is where depression takes hold. Their drug treatments are often of little help to sufferers and those who use them are shocked to find out that once they are ‘stabilised’ and attempt to come off the drugs, their symptoms return, often with a greater vengeance. They then find themselves faced with the possibility of remaining medicated all of their lives, fearing a recurrence of their earlier symptoms. Practitioners are desperately searching for ideas about what to do and how to help. I wish there was a miracle cure of some kind but there isn't; however, my book will certainly help many people to at least take a different look at depression and possibly apply this new knowledge to themselves and others around them.
I have looked at available statistics and I really do not think any organisation or medical research centre knows the real global situation regarding the increase in depression. Yet I think that most people can see that more violence, more killings, more ineptitude and more mental illness, often leading to suicide, occur in their communities every year.
The word ‘depression’ is used as a convenient label all too often. In fact I often tell people who are seeing me about their depression that we will not use the word depression but rather think about their mind and their emotional state and continually change the name of what they are experiencing every day, avoiding the actual word ‘depression’. ‘But I am just depressed!’ they insist. ‘Not necessarily,’ I suggest.
For instance, just yesterday a man I am seeing who is ‘depressed’ came to his session and told me that he had been feeling a little better the day before. He had enjoyed being with his family at the weekend, and although he felt a little low in energy, he was able to participate in a family outing with his wife and two children. He had even experienced some fun! … But this day, being Monday, he was ‘depressed.’ I reminded him that we were not using the label ‘depression’ at the moment and suggested he use some other words to describe his state of mind and exactly how he was feeling.
He began by saying he was ‘anxious.’
“Is that depression?” I asked him.
“No,” he said, “but I am tired and that is a symptom of depression.”
“Yes,” I agreed, “and I am tired too but I am not depressed.”
Then he started talking about his work and how he was bored and not really making progress in terms of his own fullfilment and satisfaction. In fact he was very unhappy with his job, which is with an accounting firm, and he was very afraid about asking for more money. This very day he had planned to approach his boss to discuss his position and request an increase in his salary.
I explained to him that since he was about to put himself ‘on the line’ with his boss he was experiencing some ordinary fear and anxiety which was very understandable in such a situation. So, we did not have to apply the word ‘depression’ to any of his symptoms. The symptoms themselves were part of his mentality, his emotionality, his mind. He could feel unhappy, sad, angry, flat, disoriented, lethargic, fearful, or yes, even depressed. Depression is actually a lot about emotion. When a depressed person is angry, are they ‘depressed?’
Let’s look at the story of a ‘depressed’ woman involved in a road rage incident on a quiet country road in Gloucestershire, England. At an inquest into the death of Serena Sutton–Smith, witnesses gave an account of her actions which they described as being ‘against all human instincts.’
The inquest heard that Paula Small was driving her Fiat along a roadway when Ms Sutton-Smith emerged from a side road without stopping, causing Mrs Small to swerve to avoid a collision. Mrs Small was forced onto the grassy verge but she had had time to flash her lights at Ms Sutton-Smith in protest before she pulled over to the side of the road in front of Ms Sutton-Smith. Ms Sutton-Smith then pulled over behind Mrs Small and rammed the back of her car. Ms Small was just getting out of her car when he felt Ms Sutton-Smith’s Vauxhall Nova hit her from behind. She said later, “I opened my door and put my foot out but as I was getting out there was a bang and I hit my head on the door frame.” As local people came to investigate the scene they saw Ms Sutton–Smith sitting in her driver’s seat with a furious expression, revving her engine and spinning her wheels while her car was bang up against the stationary car of Mrs Small.
Nicholas Willmore told the inquest he was in his workshop at Cottage Farm Antiques when his mother alerted him to what was happening outside. As he walked across the road he saw smoke coming from the engine of the Nova. He said, ”There was a deafening sound of an engine running as though someone had a foot stuck on the accelerator. The car’s front wheels were spinning and there was loads of revving. I could see a biggish person at the wheel and there was movement in the car. Flames were coming from underneath the car and I thought the person might be trapped inside although I couldn't hear any shouting. I opened the driver’s door wide. It opened easily. The person looked at me. She was a big built woman."
“The person yelled, F*** off, just f*** off!” and she raised her right fist towards me in a threatening manner before slamming the door shut. I was a bit bewildered and moved three or four yards back. I could see her gesturing towards me. She seemed to be in quite a rage. Both fists were raised and being shaken and the person was looking right at me. This was definitely done in a manner to tell me to stay away from her car.”
Mr Willmore then ran to his workshop, came back with a fire extinguisher, and tried to put out an ensuing fire. Another person also produced an extinguisher but both had little effect. Mr Willmore added, “The heat was getting more and more intense and the flames were growing. I could no longer see inside. There was nothing that could be done to help the person inside. There was no attempt by the person inside to get out. In my opinion it was against all human instincts for someone to stay inside that car.”
Firefighters put out the blaze but when they reached Ms Sutton–Smith she was already dead. At the inquest later, it was revealed that Ms Sutton Smith suffered from bi-polar disorder and could become extremely agitated. The inquest reached a verdict of accidental death and the coroner was satisfied Ms Sutton-Smith had not intended to kill herself. I think of poor, poor Ms Sutton-Smith whose family would be grieving at the loss of her right now. Had she been depressed or was she at the other end of the spectrum … manic? I think neither. Although many of the prescriptive drugs given for bi-polar disorder are the same as for depression, Ms Sutton-Smith went into a rage because she could not tolerate being shown she had made a mistake. We all know the light flashing signal from another motorist means we are being told that we have done something wrong in someone else’s eyes. By Mrs Small’s evidence it was clear that Ms Sutton-Smith had almost caused a collision. She had probably also experienced quite a fright. Then the light flashing incident told her that the driver of the other car was not happy with her.
She was obviously already angry and this is why she rammed Mrs Small’s car. The very horrendous result was that she became stuck in her fury and rage … so stuck that even when her wheel revving blew out a tyre which caused the wheel rim to create sparks which in turn ignited the brake fluid causing a fire which eventually incinerated her. She could not save herself from her own death because she could not move away from her intense rage.
Is it satisfactory to simply label Ms Sutton-Smith as having bi-polar disorder? I don’t think so. I believe we must analyse her condition in terms of the state of her mind. At the time she was revving her car she was residing inside her own disturbed mind. Her mind was in a frenzy because of her own rage. That’s all, really. Her mind was in that state. All sense of her own worth was lost in those moments. I agree with the coroner she had not intended to kill herself because no one had taught her or she, at least, had not bothered to learn any control over her own rage, which actually became the cause of her death.
We must not simply blame her ‘manic depression’ or ‘bi–polar’ disorder as if these were some external entity to her own mind. No, it was not her depression; it was her mind in a state of intense rage which overrode even a basic sense of self. We can see that even the need to preserve one’s own or another’s life can disappear when in this danger zone of the mind. Intense rage destroyed all Ms Sutton-Smith’s rationality, smartness, clarity and, of course, any relaxation in her mind.
She may have been diagnosed with the condition ‘bi polar’ but this was none other than pure rage as separate from depression.
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